yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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