i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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