He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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