i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
