he thought i was a dude.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
