the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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