Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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