I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize