This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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