P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
