i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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