fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
