you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
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