I am puke
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
