I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize