It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The beer is more important than you right now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize