well I can't set my house on fire every night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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