Your tits are I can't wait for
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
