You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
