this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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