Small penises have feelings too.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
