So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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