girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
