I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
