Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
