Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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