Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
