I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
