I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
