there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
