I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
