im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
