I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
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He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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