I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
All the doctor said was why
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
