Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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