so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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