smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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