If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize