well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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