what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
