so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
