I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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