im holly from the hills drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
