saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I love you.
Bad choice
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize