you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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