Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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