he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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