Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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