Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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