Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
