I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
