did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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