my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize