I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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