My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
