Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
